Motherhood and Media

Thanksgiving is this week in the United States. Especially with becoming a parent, this time of year often has me reflecting on the myths we tell, and what they imply. The story of Thanksgiving is typically told as such: the Pilgrims of Plymouth were struggling to survive in this New World until the Indians (few retellings, especially those aimed at children, are specific enough to name the Wampanoag tribe) come and, out of kindness, show the Pilgrims their ancient strategies for planting native crops, such as corn. With this ancient wisdom shared, the Pilgrims were able to survive to reap a full harvest. The Pilgrims then decide to have a large celebration with a Thanksgiving feast and invited the local Indians, who agreed and brought gifts of meats, such as turkey and venison. A grand time was had by all, a celebration of peace and prosperity. But that's not the story. Not really. Like most things, there's a lot more nuance and complication. The Wampanoags did share how to p...

NOTE: This blog entry contains plot points for several horror films that may be considered spoilers. Some of these films include Psycho, The Shining, The Others, The Babadook, and Barbarian. Read at your own risk.  From The Babadook (2014) Outside of October, I don't typically watch horror movies; I'm a wimp, and jump scares work on me far too well. But Halloween is one of my very favorite holidays, so at least one horror novel or film feels essential to the season.  Despite my somewhat-squeamish nature, I also thought a horror film would be a nice break from obsessing about motherhood. After all, not only am I taking care of my now seven-month-old all day during the week, but I've also been recently reading The Montessori Baby and Raising Your Spirited Baby.  That's a lot of baby-focusing, so I decided that turning on the new 2022 horror film Barbarian would be a change of theme.  Imagine my surprise when it wasn't! I'll try and keep this spoiler-light in ...

Lately, my little guy has refused to nap unless he's "contact napping" (an official-sounding parenting term that essentially means "lying entirely on top of Mommy"). So, to make sure he gets in anything even resembling a nap, I play the role of mattress for a couple hours a day. Because of this, I've been able to catch up on some recently airing shows. And I can now tell you that it's rather surreal watching the ruthlessness of House of the Dragon  while cuddling a sleeping baby. But what's even stranger is that this show has turned out to be all about mothers.  For better and for worse.

"Maybe you should look at Reddit less," my mother suggested. It was a very good suggestion. I'd spent the last few of our conversations discussing one parenting subreddit's warnings against "baby containers" (which is basically anything that might "restrict" an infant's freedom of movement) and was stressing about that and other common parenting forum "controversies" too. It was becoming a bit of a joke in my household; whenever someone suggested buying something for the baby or trying a new approach for pretty much anything, I'd respond, "Well, that is..." My husband has started finishing the sentence: "Wait, let me guess! That's something that is now considered 'controversial.'" Some of the things that have deep, passionate controversies and debates on the parenting forums and subreddits are a follows: formula feeding, spoon feeding, co-sleeping, giving baby their own room, not giving baby their o...

This past week, I belatedly watched the Hulu teen comedy Crush (2022). At the start of the movie, the protagonist Paige first develops a crush on her classmate A.J. when they pair up together for the "egg baby" project.  Watching this scene, I was immediately filled with nostalgia; I remember doing a similar project in fifth grade... though for the life of me I cannot remember if I had a partner or not. I do remember dutifully keeping my 'parenting' journal, which strangely feels like it parallels my modern (real) motherhood habit of tracking my baby's needs and habits in a brightly-colored app.  It was in high school, though, that the big "parenting preparation project" occurred. Rather than eggs or a bag of flour, in my high-school we simulated parenting through what I call the dreaded 'Robo-Baby.' 

The internet loves a good dogpile. Social media moves swiftly and furiously when a new "main character" has been announced, and it's crazy how a nearly anonymous someone becomes a talking point around the world. With all the posting about Ana Mardoll today or whoever is the new hot topic by the time this posts, it may be hard to remember that just days ago that target was... Momlife_comics.  Momlife_comics is an Instagram comic that became the target of rage, amusement, and mockery for about a day on Twitter. I honestly don't know how the recent attention started, and I've decided for the sake of my sanity not to find out (researching Twitter accounts seemed like a rather depressing idea of how to spend my time). I do know, though, that the reach of the attention was vast; my husband and I have shockingly different Twitter algorithms and follow very different people, but when I started talking to him about Twitter dogpiles and an online comic, he immediately said...

This afternoon, I watched a bit of television while under the weight of a sleeping baby. I had tried twice to put him down in his crib, but each such attempt ended in waking, increasing fussing, and then full on crying. Today, the place he clearly most wanted to nap was snuggled on my body — and no substitutes were cutting it. Perhaps that's why the shows I watched during that time resonated so much: the first episode of HBO's The Baby and the first episodes of Netflix's imported Japanese reality show import Old Enough .